Going against DEI is going against your own self!

A diverse group of colleagues sharing ideas around a round table!

What if the world outside of us is nothing more than a mirror, reflecting back the hidden corners of our own minds? What if the very concept of inclusion is not just about others, but about ourselves? About the parts of us we have exiled, the wounds we have ignored, the voices within that we have silenced?

As the conversation around Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) grows louder with some celebrating it while others opposing it, what if we step back and ask a different question? What if resistance to DEI is not just political, but spiritual? What if it reveals something about our own fear of looking deeper, of truly seeing?

Do you really think that we are separated?

Imagine a great tree, its roots tangled deep beneath the earth, unseen, yet connecting every branch, every leaf. The tree does not ask if one branch is more deserving of sunlight than another. It simply grows, knowing that the wholeness of the tree depends on the strength of every part.

But as humans, we often forget our interconnectedness. We create stories of separateness, convincing ourselves that some belong while others do not. We build walls, not realizing that in doing so, we imprison parts of ourselves.

When someone rejects DEI, claiming that merit should be the only guiding principle, what is truly being said? Could it be a deep-seated fear, an unconscious belief that if others are included, we will somehow lose our place? That by acknowledging historical inequities, we might have to face the truth of our own conditioned beliefs?

In the book The Hidden Life of Trees the author Peter Wohlleben reveals scientific discoveries of the profound interconnectedness of forests, where trees are not solitary beings but part of a vast, intelligent network. Through underground fungal networks, often called the Wood Wide Web, trees communicate, share nutrients, warn each other of dangers, and support weaker members of their community. Some even appear to nurture their young and hold onto the memory of past experiences.

And what if, just like the tree, we are meant to grow together? What if inclusion is not about giving advantage but about restoring balance? In Family Constellations, a method within systemic work founded by psychotherapist Bert Hellinger, we recognize that healing comes when everyone is given their rightful place in the system. Whether it’s within a family, a community, or even an entire society. When someone is excluded, ignored, or dishonored, imbalance and suffering ripple through generations. The same principle applies on a collective level with diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI).  What if embracing diversity is an act of reclaiming the fullness of our own humanity?

Let me invite you through a process of Self-Inquiry with a question and see where it leads you. Don’t overthink it, just let the question linger in your mind and even dance in your consciousness. Don’t force an answer, just allow it to be, go along your daily life as usual and see if an answer comes to the surface for you. 

Self-Inquiry Question:

What if inclusion is not about granting something to others, but about restoring wholeness?

Let this sink in for a moment!

So what if inclusion is not just about policies, fairness, or even justice, but about remembering? Remembering who we are beyond the stories of separation. Remembering that no one was ever meant to be cast aside, not in society, not in history, not in our schools, and not within ourselves.

As a school counselor and psychologist for many years, I see firsthand how exclusion, whether in a classroom, a family, or an entire system leaves an imprint. A child who does not feel seen stops raising their hand. A student who does not feel they belong begins to shrink, withdraw, or even act out. The same patterns play out in the world around us. When voices are ignored, when spaces are not made for those who have been left out, the imbalance ripples, not just outward but believe it or not, inward.

What if true belonging begins the moment we stop resisting that truth? What if creating space for others doesn’t take anything away from us but instead makes the whole stronger?

Let these questions stay with you. Let them move in the background of your thoughts, shaping how you listen, how you see, how you exist. Because in the end, going against DEI is not just going against others, it’s going against the deepest, most hidden parts of your own self.

Intertwined roots of two trees create a natural support system!